


Herbicide

by Star Struck Crossiant (AMatterOfLifeAndDeath)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 08:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23008507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMatterOfLifeAndDeath/pseuds/Star%20Struck%20Crossiant
Summary: Kili really shouldn't be trusted with anything that needs to be kept alive.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17
Collections: GatheringFiKi - Winter FRE 2020





	Herbicide

This was most definitely absolutely not good. Kili thought, staring at the wilted pile of brown leaves in front of him. When left in his care at the beginning of last week, it had been a full and luscious violet, in bloom and setting new flower heads. He didn’t know it was possible for a plant to have abandonment issues, but this one appeared to feel that life was not worth living and decided to commit suicide. Correction, assisted suicide Kili added to himself, shoulders slumping at the thought of what Fili would say when he came to pick it up at the end of the week.  
When Fili had requested to have Kili watch his plant while he was out of town visiting his mom in Erid Luin, Kili had been thrilled. They both worked for an up and coming ad agency in the city of Dale, and quite frankly Kili had been lusting after the blond since he first stepped through the door six months ago. Fili was charming, good looking and intelligent. His ideas were always the ones upper management went for, and Kili couldn’t help feeling a little jealous of just how easy Fili made it look to navigate office politics.  
Kili had no illusions where his own career was going. He wasn’t completely without talent – his art was some of the best produced in the city, and his print ads were always well received. He knew, though, that he was nothing compared to Fili. He chalked it up as a win when Fili first started talking to him. They had hit it off over their love of sci fi and fantasy, and before Kili knew it they had settled into an easy friendship. So what if he wanted more? Friendship was good enough for now, and besides, there was no chance that Fili would ever look at him that way, as fun and outgoing as he was. Kili was better off just being thankful for what he had.  
Or what he used to have. Because once Fili took one look at his plant he would be lucky if he didn’t punch him in the face. Fili loved that plant – it was given to him by his Grandmother right before she passed, he had told him, and he had managed to keep it alive for almost three years now. Kili groaned and dropped his head into his hands. Then he had a thought.  
I’ll just buy him a new one, he’ll never know the difference right? He thought. I mean, it’s not like a pet, where it had to interact with you and you would know right away. It was a plant, it just kind of sat there on the windowsill and made oxygen right? He would just pop down the garden center, replant it in the same container, and it would be good to go. He would wait until just before Fili came home too, so there wouldn’t be enough time for him to kill yet another victim, like a gardener version of Ted Bundy.  
Friday night he made his way to the shop, looking around at the mass of green in front of him, and spotted what he thought he was looking for. He grabbed it off the shelf without looking too hard, afraid to lose his nerve. At the back of his mind, he knew that was probably a bad idea, but he wasn’t willing to lose Fili over the fact that he had no green thumb. The girl at the counter rang him up, cocking an eyebrow at him as he nervously handed over his cash.  
“Do you need any fertilizer or a sun lamp with that?” she asked.  
He quickly shook his head. “Nope I’m good to go.” He scooped the plant up and grabbed his receipt.  
“Are you sure? Those are really tricky to keep alive.” She said narrowing her eyes at him.  
He scoffed. “Yeah, I know, no worries. I’m prepared.”  
She just shook her head. “Okay….if you say so. Have a good night.”  
He hurried out of the store, making his way back to his car and frowning at why the girl had been so insistent on him needing so much equipment for a violet. As if he didn’t know what he was doing.  
You don’t his inner voice replied with a snarky tone.  
“Shut up, we’ve got this.” He muttered to himself and made his way out of the parking lot. Once he got home he removed the old plant, wincing as he pulled it out and threw it in the trash, biting his lip and ignoring the churning in his stomach. He quickly shoved the new plant in its place, adding a bow to the pot for a distraction. He stood back and admired. It looked good, he was sure that Fili wouldn’t notice the difference.  
Saturday morning rolled around and Kili sat in his living room, his leg bouncing up and down, chewing on his fingernails. He adjusted the plant on the coffee table, making sure that the leaves were just so. He rubbed his hands on his thighs, and checked his phone again. His nervousness had reached a fever pitch when he finally heard a light tapping on his door. He sprang up, looking at the door as if it was going to fly open under a full military assault by the plant police. He snorted to himself and took a deep breath, making his way over and yanking it open before he can lose his nerve. He plastered on his best fake smile.  
“Fili! How was you trip?” he said, his volume too loud from the startled look on Fili’s face. He cleared his throat.  
“Hey Kili. It was great! Thanks for asking. I just got into town this morning, didn’t want to wait to see you…er, my plant. Thought I would make this my first stop on my way home. Can I come in?” he said, a light blush on his cheeks but a genuine smile gracing his face.  
Kili’s heart stopped at the sight of the smile – those damn dimples always short circuited his brain, every damn time – but then shook himself. “Of course! Jeez, come on in, sorry, just not quite awake yet I guess.” He stepped out of the way, letting Fili in and closing the door behind him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels.  
“So, um, what are you up to today? I figured after I took my plant home I would take a nap and then maybe take you out for dinner to say thank you for being my plant sitter.”  
“Oh you don’t have to do that.” Kili mumbled, looking down at his feet to try and hide the guilt in his eyes. “It wasn’t really that big of a deal.”  
“I insist. How about I come over and pick you back up at 7 yeah?”  
Kili gnawed on his lip but shook his head yes. There was just no way he was going to turn down an evening with Fili, no matter how guilty he felt.  
Fili looked at him, confused. “Okay….you know we don’t have to if you would rather not, it’s just…”  
“NO!” Kili shouted head whipping up, startling Fili to silence. “No, no of course I would really like that.”  
Fili gave him a crooked smile, eyebrow cocked. “I’ll take you at your word then. So, where’s my plant? I should get home so I can get my stuff sorted out.”  
Kili forced himself to look up and smile. “Oh right, um plant. Let me just go get it.”  
He made his way into his living room, picking up the plant and making his way slowly back to the door, thrusting the plant into Fili’s waiting arms. “Here you go, good as when you left it. Yep, it looks great doesn’t it?”  
Fili was staring at the plant in his hands, his face blank. Kili, shifted his weight from side to side, his hand rubbing his neck until he couldn’t take it anymore and chuckled nervously.  
“Um, something wrong? He said swallowing loudly.  
Finally Fili blinked, then looked up at Kili. “Kili, where’s my plant.”  
“Uh, what do you mean? Its right there, see? Green and everything. I even put a bow on his pot to add a bit of artistic flair.”  
“Kili, this is not my plant.” Fili said flatly.  
“Of course it is! What do you think I did, killed your plant and replace it with a different one?” he said, looking everywhere but at Fili.  
“Considering that is an oddly specific accusation you have me thinking, I believe that yes, yes, that is exactly what you did.” Fili said, eyebrows pulled down sternly, but a strange twinkle in his eye. “Is that what happened Kili?”  
At the tone of vague disappointment in Fili’s voice, Kili snapped.  
“Dammit, yes! Yes, ok, yes…I might have killed your plant. But I swear Fili, I didn’t mean to! I tried so hard to keep it alive, I really did, I even read to the damn thing, I watered it every day, I tried to play it music….”  
“You watered it every day?? No wonder it died.” Fili snorted, a reluctant smile stealing across his face.  
Kili snapped his head up, staring at the twinkle in Fili’s eye. “Wait, why aren’t you mad? I thought you would be furious! I mean, you love that plant enough to get it a babysitter!”  
Fili chuckled. “Kili, I’m not mad. Well, maybe a little bit, but only because you tried to lie to me about something so dumb. But honestly, I’m not that fussed.”  
Kili stared at him, mouth open, until he closed it with a snap. “So, I was freaking out for no reason? But why did you want me to watch the damn thing if it wasn’t that big a deal to you?”  
Fili blushed. “To be honest, it was just an excuse to maybe get to spend some time with you. I figured if I got you to watch my plant for me, I could take you out on a date afterward without having to be awkward and ask you out.”  
:You…wanted to ask me out?” Kili’s eyebrows threatened to leave his face, before he broke out into his blinding smile. “Really?”  
“Yeah, I’ve kinda had a crush on you since the day I met you but never had the courage to ask you out. I figured this was a safe way. Plus, I don’t have a pet to ask you to watch, which in hindsight considering how this turned out is probably a good thing.” He smirked.  
Kili laughed. “Yeah, probably so. Listen, Fili, I really am sorry for trying to fool you. Can I make it up to you?”  
Fili bit his lip and in a quick move pressed his lips to his in a sweet kiss. Kili froze for a second then sighed, eyes sliding shut at the feel of Fili’s lips on his own. When Fili broke away, Kili open his eyes and looked at him, slightly dazed.  
“Consider it repaid.” He said, smiling. “We’re still on for tonight though. “  
“Heck yeah we are. I think I need to make up to you some more.” Kili said.  
“I hope so.” Fili winked. “I gotta go, but I’ll see you tonight.”  
“Okay. Hey Fili?” he said, causing Fili to turn from the open door and look at him. “How did you know that wasn’t your plant?”  
Fili grinned. “Because Kili, my plant was a violet.”  
“Yeah…” Kili said.  
“And this.” He said holding up the plant. “Is a cactus. I’ll see you tonight.” He said, closing the door as he burst into laughter.


End file.
